Gumbo Girl Goes to Washington

Louisiana born porn star, Stormy Daniels has announced that she is considering a run for the U.S. Senate. Or was that running "after" a U.S. Senator. When a member of the press inquired as to her positions, Daniels surprised the crowd by not referring to a page in the Kama Sutra. It has since come to light that the adult film star fell into politics by accident due to her misunderstanding of the the word "Caucus." *** Donald Trump has decided that Miss California USA had done nothing wrong and can keep her crown. Which I really don't mind, as long as they alter her royal headware. Though she is known as a beauty "Queen" the crown should feature the more accurate title of "Ignorant PAWN of the Right Wing." *** Last week, Amy Winehouse canceled a concert in the Caribbean due to heavy rain. But that's good news coming from someone whose history of drug use has previously canceled performances due to.... Heavy Snow. ***

Budapest Nuptials

Hungary, the country that taught Zsa Zsa Gabor that multiple husbands is a good thing, continues it's support of marriage by passing a law allowing same sex domestic partnership. Oddly, the legislation prohibits Gay and lesbian couples from adopting children together. Personally, I think that's a bunch of goulash! *** Talk about kicking a dead horse. Though NBC cancelled the revived version of American Gladiator, series creator Johnny Ferraro is developing a movie based on the show. Network series turned into motion pictures have a history of being flops, Beverly Hillbillies, Get Smart, or anything based on a skit from Saturday Night Live so Gladiator producers are going for an action film using gladiator characters from the show. To increase it's chances of becoming a film franchise, a few titles are being considered, Gladiators of the Carribean, Gladiators of the Corn or Saw Gladiators. A few new testosterone characters would be introduced to join familiar names as Nitro and Titan. If the producers really wanted to expand their audience base they should create some Gay characters with names like Hemline, Exfolliate and Bitchslap.

An Ear for Dancing

According to Time magazine, a new book claims that Vincent Van Gogh did not cut off his own ear but lost it in a knife fight. Of course it's a ridiculous claim since everybody knows that Van Gogh lost his ear after refusing to do a portrait of Mike Tyson. *** Just when you thought the six degrees of Kevin Bacon game was over, an Ohio fundamentalist Baptist school, removes the dustcover of Footloose to punish a 17-year-old student. It seems that Tyler Frost, was warned that he would be, not only suspended but prevented from graduating if he attended a dance at another school all because his Alma matter forbids, dancing, rock music, hand holding and thinking for yourself. The young man says he went to the other school's dance because he wanted to experience a prom while his stepfather's says that those rules don't apply off of school grounds. If the school takes action to suspend the boy, his family will file a lawsuit. Now there's another cause to which I will gladly donate money. ****

Don't run, you'll break a hip

I couldn't help but notice a piece of mail my mom received from AARP. The outside read "Open Immediatley," why? are there prospective members dying before theyopen their mail? *** In Stockton today, a father of a 10 month old baby, to his two children to an animal shelter to look at cats but was told that adoptions took place at another location. In his haste to get there before the other branch closed, he took the older child but left the baby, in it's carrier, outside the shelter building. It was 15 minutes later when he discovered she was missing. His excuse to authorities was that, it's becoming a frightening cliche' phrase, "I forgot." *** Amy Winhouse was hospitalized AGAIN on April 30th. Taken to London's St. Lucia hospital, the 25 year-old (but looks 55) was treated for dehydration. Source say that frequent hospitalization doesn't bother the singer. I bet! She's a trooper dealing with needles and having things put up his nose like oxygen and feeding tubes.

TV for Cousin Bubba

I have discovered a cure for boredom and monotony. When one is feeling low, and mentally idle, such a sense of yawn excessiveness is easily dispelled by a simple series of keyboard clicks. No doctor visits or prescriptions required, just go to www.rfdtv.com. It is the website for a self described 24-hour television network for rural America. How it reaches it's audience is unclear though I expect it requires some aluminum foil and rabbit ears. How can such an Internet location cure the blahs, simply by reminding one that other lives are even more boring than theirs. But don't stop at the main page because the program schedule is the real secret. Scan the listings and discover such treats as Ms. Lucy's Cajun Classroom, Training Mules and Donkeys, Animal Makeover, The Horse Show with Rick Lamb (not to be confused with The Cow Show with Bill Goat) and Cowboy Flavor which I've sadly discovered, is not a series version of Brokeback Mountain.

Over-Due Weekend Away

I was trying to remember the last time I was on a vacation let alone spent a night away from home. When one hits and passes middle age, the number of slumber party invitations diminish significantly. Before we left Ohio in 1995, Edward and I took many weekend getaways as I worked for the Hyatt Hotel chain and was provided free stays at Hyatt properties. Though not sure which would qualify as my "last" vacation/weekend, it would be among, Chicago, New York City, or Washington DC. But based on lower standards of simply being away from home over night, would have to be a little over two years ago, when spending the night in Edward's hospital room at UCSF. That is why my nephew Steven's generosity in asking me to apartment and cat sit in San Francisco this past weekend, meant so much to me.

I had invited friends to pick a day and drive down to do something together but none were available. As such, I simply stayed in, relaxed from some pressures at home, played with the cat, caught up on some movies and fell in love with the new HBO (BBC imported) series 'The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency.' Though on the day I arrived, I did shop in the Castro and pick up some food, the rain came in that night and it's been rather a drenched atmosphere since then.

His apartment is in Diamond heights and though doesn't face downtown, provided me a wonderful evening view of fog cascading over the hillside as the glow of homes flickered beneath the mist. Yesterday, I walked over to the Safeway and passed visitor's parking area where I noticed the same two cars parked since I arrived on Friday. It was an issue of note because they are only three spaces and a Jaguar was parked straddling one of the lines, thus taken up two spaces. I believe straddling the line is called a Robert Downey Jr. manuever. Anyway, one couldn't help but notice that the Jag had three notes attached to the rain soaked windows and chunks of paper residue from past notes that had deteriorated in the rain. One still legible note read, "what sort of idiot are you, taking up two parking spaces. Jesus hates you and so do I." I believe that's a quote from the Ten CAR-mandments.

Entertainment News for May 2009

Here's the latest word on the L Word spin off series. Though only a pilot movie, Showtime has decided to give it a pass as a series but will probably still air it. Originally called 'The Farm,' it stars Leisha Hailey, playing Alice after she's been convicted for murder and is spending time in a women's prison in Humboldt County. The cast includes Famke Janssen (Jean Grey from The X-Men) with Laurie Metcalf (Roseanne) as the Prison Warden. Ilene Chaiken is both writer and producer. *** Though not cast in The Farm, Jennifer Beals has been busy working on a Network series. if you caught the April 29th episode of the FOX series Lie To Me, you saw the first episode of a multiple episode story arc featuring Beals in a recurring role. The Flashdancer has also been working on the motion picture The Book of Eli starring Denzel Washington. Described as a Post-apocalyptic western, it is clear that the producers never heard of the Kevin Costner film The Postman and what a bomb it was. At least be unique and set it in a world of only water. ***
Another L Word veteran was in the news, as Kelly McGillis, has come out and pronounced her love for women. In a website interview, the 51 year-old actress, relayed how she struggled with her sexuality as it was counter to her religious up-bringing. Ironic that Kelly played a closeted Army colonel on the L Word. So naturally one has to consider the cliche question about art imitating life and vice verse. *** This years edition of Dancing with the Stars has really taken a toll on celebrity performers. Jewell dropped out due to a fractured tibiae, Jack-ass star Steve-O hurt his back and Steve Wozniak (founder of Apple computers) fractured his foot. I'm mostly disappointed about the Woz because I was waiting for his rendition of a - "Laptop dance." At this rate of injury, here are some of my suggestions for celebrity contestants on the next edition of Dancing with the Stars, Elizabeth Taylor, Jose Feliciano and Dr. Steven Hawking. *** Delayed from last November, the recently settled lawsuit over Project Runway's move to Lifetime will bring the return of the fashion-forward series this summer. And just in time too as unemployment benefits were about to run out for Nina Garcia, Michael Koors and Tim Gunn. The new deal with lifetime includes 5 more seasons of Project Runway, the creation of a spin-off series called "Models of the Runway" and a third show called "Project Pygmalion." During it's hiatus, Bravo created a new show to satiate fashionistas called The Fashion Show. This latest design competition debuts May 7th, with 15 contestants creating their concepts of couture. Isaac Mizrahi and and former Destiny's Child singer, Kelly Rowland will co-host and judge. Among this years hopefuls are 31-year-old Andrew, an LA designer known for his underwear line and the nickname of Panty-Christ. 26-year-old Johnny R of San Diego whose adventurous style is found in his Grandma's Glock Streetwear line, and 30-year-old New York designer Laura whose creations have been worn by Moby and the Scissor Sisters. . ***
For years, fans of Jane Lynch (The 40 Year Old Virgin) have had to make due with her occasional film appearance and now, we get to enjoy her talents weekly with the May 19th preview airing of Glee on Fox. It comes from Ryan Murphy, the creator of Popular and Nip/Tuck and features Lynch as a hard as nails high school coach who screams "you think this is hard? I'm living with Hepatitis and THAT'S hard!" I can't think of anybody more perfect to utter a line like that. The one hour musical comedy begins with a teacher's desire to take over the Glee club and transform them into National contenders. The cast includes Matthew Morrisson (As the World Turns), Emma Pillsbury (Ugly Betty,) and Cory Monteith (Kyle XY.). Watch for out Gay actor, Cheyenne Jackson to appear in the show's third episode. But don't get too excited. The May preview is just a sampling before the show debuts as a regular series in the Fall*** The LOGO network had it's highest ratings ever with the recent airing of RuPaul's drag race. But that record may be broken with this months' debut of the series Beautiful People. Best described as a cross between Fame, Ugly Betty and Absolutely Fabulous it's no surprise that it comes from Jon Plowman, one of the producers of Ab Fab. The six episode series originally aired across the Atlantic on BBC Two and is based on the best-selling over-the-top childhood memoirs of Simon Doonan, creative director of Barneys, New York. The show explores the world of Simon and Kyle, two gay high school mates who are obsessed with the performing arts. In one scene, the two boys sit in a pub with their drama teacher as she reminisces about a long lost french lover "Francios said my tits were like two upturned creme brulee, - without the burnt bits on the bottom." You can catch HYSTERICAL clips of the show before it's American premiere on Youtube. Just search Beautiful People BBC Two. I predict viewing parties all over the nation. *** Sure, the movie Spartacus was remade as a TV miniseries with ER's Goran Visjnic and you're thinking why on Earth would someone bother again. Well, it never made it to a regular TV series and it never starred Xena Warrior Princess, Lucy Lawless. Coming next year to the Starz pay cable channel, it's called Spartacus: Blood and Sand, not to be confused with Spartacus: Roman Celebrity Apprentice. It comes from Xena producers Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert, which explains how Lawless got cast in the role of one of the owners of Spartacus. Also in the cast are Erin Cummings (Dollhouse), Craig Parker (Legend of the Seeker) and, playing the title role of the Roman soldier who becomes a slave is Australian actor Andy Whitfield. *** And finally, if you are as much a fan of the brilliant and under appreciated ABC series Pushing Daisies as I am, you'll be thrilled to learn, the last three, unaired episodes will begin airing on Saturdays beginning May 30th. The complete season 2, and final season, DVD set will be released this summer.