Where's My Shows

It's hard enough adjusting to a new life in LA but can't TV channels stay the same. Just how am I supposed to get through the day without my doses of People's Court and Judge Judy. Although not having cable yet does make it difficult to find your regular programming among only five channels. yes only five. Well, to be accurate there are actually 36 more but sadly I can't undertand Mandarin, Tagolog, Viet Namese, Russian, Serbian and any of the languages in which those stations broadcast. I must admit my surprise to learn that Jerry Springer is still on the air. I guess there must still be an audience for that kind of thing. After all, not everybody can afford season tickets to cage fighting.

We Need Costco Greeters with Cattle Prods

Though I wish I could blame it on having lost a bet, today was my first time in a Costco in over 12 years. An easy task it was not. Sure, you expect long lines and delays to check out but the simple act of entering the building is quite the challenge. I had forgotten about the plethora of idiots who simple stop, DEAD in their tracks, right in the doorway to fish through their purse looking for their Costco membership card. But adding to this density of flesh are the 21st century post lobotomy patients who must also freeze frame to check their text messages or facebook pages from their I-phone. News flash world - YOU AREN'T THE ONLY PERSON SHOPPING TODAY!

That's Art?

OMG, it's the end of the world for certain. On the Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien, he just unveiled a life sized sculptured bust of himself made of white chocolate with bacon for his hair. Now I know why I never watched his old show. Besides, he didn't even say if it was Kosher bacon.

Almost Complete

I'm so excited. All my stuff arrived from Sacramento on Saturday. Well, almost. Even though two items weren't checked off on the inventory, the mover/driver said "well, here's 4 boxes without numbers, so the missing two must be two of those. So I signed off. Then he calls me last night, after emptying the van in San Diego to say he found the other two boxes and wanted to drop them off today, on his way back up to Sacramento.
Surprise, surprise. It ended up being FOUR more boxes and my tool box. Of course if I were a lesbian, I would have noticed that my tool box hadn't arrived.

Birthday Brunch

I can't think of a better way to celebrate my first 24 hours as an LA resident than celebrating my Dino's birthday. It was a perfect day to drive down to Long Beach and where we enjoyed Brunch on the Queen Mary.

Wrong Censoring

I just opened the latest issue of US Weekly and was shocked at a photo of Paulina Porizkova and husband Ric Ocasek on the beach. Paulina, a former super model is topless with a censored tag over her chest, provided by the magazine. I must say, I'm apalled. The magagzine's censor should have covered the image of her 60 year old husband's frighteningly skinny, saggy and scarry body in a bathing suit. One can't help but wish this former lead singer of the group The Cars would simply stay in the back seat of his when he goes to the beach....OK, I'm still trying to fully comprehend this one. Japanese astronaut, Koichi Wakata, returned to Earth after a solid month on the space station, with the underwear he wore for a solid month. The special Japanese made underwear, called J-Wear is a new type of anti-bacterial, water-absorbing, odor eliminating clothing designed for space travel. Wow. I wasn't aware the was an underwear problem for astronauts. and besides, do Japanese mothers never tell there children when they leave the house, "where clean under wear, where clean underwear." Which is usually followed by the cliched phrase "and look both ways.," Oh, common, who looks both ways, especially in space.

New Frontier

Tomorrow's the day. My belongings are supposed to be delivered by Bekins. However it may take 6 hours or more as the mover/driver says he will be alone to unload the truck.