We Need Costco Greeters with Cattle Prods

Though I wish I could blame it on having lost a bet, today was my first time in a Costco in over 12 years. An easy task it was not. Sure, you expect long lines and delays to check out but the simple act of entering the building is quite the challenge. I had forgotten about the plethora of idiots who simple stop, DEAD in their tracks, right in the doorway to fish through their purse looking for their Costco membership card. But adding to this density of flesh are the 21st century post lobotomy patients who must also freeze frame to check their text messages or facebook pages from their I-phone. News flash world - YOU AREN'T THE ONLY PERSON SHOPPING TODAY!