Celebrate the Romance of Others

For some, being single makes it awkward to be around couples. The less secure can be jealous of the bond they see between two people or they become depressed when reminded of the romance they had prior to becoming the latest commodity on the dating market. Spending the day with my nephew Steven and his new boyfriend Tom, yesterday, surprised me with feelings of a different kind. As we did some shopping, I delighted in hearing them call each other "hon" and us other terms of endearment. I smiled listening to them recall how many whitening stripes were left at home, how many cans of Monster or which brand of cat litter would be best for the recently combined household that features two cats previously unknown to each other. Though the living together status has only been a matter of weeks, it was a joy to see Steven and Tom acting as if they had been together for years. That combined with their effortless pursuit of cooperation and compromise, keeping the others interest forefront and the sparkle I saw in the eyes when they just looked at each other proved to me that this is a relationship off to a inordinately strong start.Though I was confident that I would not be one of those previously mentioned awkward or envious single types as I met Tom for the first time but I found surprise at the sense of thrill and joy I felt just being in the presence of this new romance. I remember when Steven told me that Tom was moving out to San Francisco from Atlanta, though they had only known each other a very short time. I had my concerns but mostly from experience with other friends that had rushed into what ended up as failed relationships. Weeks ago, when Steven confessed to having uttered those three powerful words - "I Love You," my youthful fear of chasing away a new love interest by saying the words first rushed forth. But I remembered that Edward, my late husband of 22 years had uttered those words exactly 14 days after our first date. And other than three different nights when he was out of town on business, Edward had spent every night at my place during our first four months together. Such memories underscore the question, who is anyone to question the time it takes for a relationship to become one of fate driven, destined to be reality.As I approach my 2ND year of widower-hood I continue to struggle with the re-definition of my life. A new city, new friends and coming to terms with just the concept of finding love again, my sense of romance is rejuvenated as I observe this attractive and well-suited duo beginning a united life.