Malibu Birthday

In honor of Barbie's 50th anniversary on March 9th, women the world over will be having their nipples and pubic hair removed. OK, maybe not but Mattel is asking women to not bend their knees or elbows for the entire day. Their is a rumor that, to celebrate the occasion, the toy company will be releasing a special commemorative Ashton Kutcher Ken doll. Pre-orders are currently being taken for this Summer's release of the AARP Barbie. ***
From the file, marked 'Things that make you go, Huh???' the recent edition of the "Get Motivated Business Seminar' held in Sacramento, featured among speakers Colin Powell and Steve Forbes, Olympic gold medalist - Michale Phelps. His topic? How to Sharpen Your Competitive Edge. Yeah, sharpen like a razor blade on a mirror table at Studio 54. Next you'll see Michael replace Courtney Love as the host of the comedy central roast of Robert Downey Jr. It has been reported that Michael's training diet consists of about 12,000 calories a day. How many Twinkies is that? *** Latest joke about the Octomom. In honor of her love for children, Denny's is featuring a breakfast special that comes 14 eggs, one sausage and the government pays for it. ***
I just saw the catalog for the April 22-25 auction of Michael Jackson memorabilia. Among the items up for bid are assorted costumes, a sequined covered glove, a self lubricating glove, a vibrating glove and an inflatable glove. *** A recent news article about the breakdown of social morals in Great Britain, focused on the startling story of teen parents, 15-year-old Chantelle and her 13-year-old baby daddy - Alfie. But before you can say 'What's it all about, Alfie?' The boy's father and Baby Granddaddy has stated that he plans to sit down with Alfie and have the birds and the bees conversation before another polliwog of fertilization can swim upstream. How reassuring, AFTER THE FACT! The good news is that Alfie is dedicated to help raise the child so that the two of the can go skate boarding together. British politician, Sir Bernard Ingham stated "It's an indication that we've lost our way, that people don't know the difference between right and wrong." Hell, I've known that since the first Spice Girls album. ***