Pet Peeve at the Movies

Spring is here and that means one thing. Kids will be out of school soon and I refuse to go to the movies during that time. Screaming babies are one thing but the worst movie going plague has to be tweens and teens and their inane conversations. The fact that they act like they are the only ones in the theatre and that no one else can hear them defies logic. OK, so the words teens and logic are self-cancelling but you get my point. No matter how hard I try or what type of medication I use, I have absolutely no patience with them. How can anyone tolerate the constant harping of "stop hitting me," "I didn't want diet coke," "don't eat it all," "I don't want to be this close" and that's just from my dates.
What I don't understand is why, when a theatre is 90% empty, why or why do three Miley Cyrus fans have to sit in the aisle directly in front of me? Using the cell phone is bad enough but ad twitter to their constant twitter. Those brief messages of life and death issues like "Suzie won't got to Terrie's party unless you go." or "Sandy says you're a retard." Three steps up the ladder of the movie annoyances list are those who answer the phone during the movie. Then make it worse by answering with "Oh, nothing, what are YOU doing?' I'm the one heard in the background yelling "He's at the movies making out with YOUR girlfriend!" And worse than that was a recent conversation I had to suffer through, "Well, Suzie said Billy was definitely going to get me that ankle bracelet we saw at the mall, for our 3 month anniversary and if it plays his cards right, I might let him have more than just a piece of my birthday cake and I'm talking a piece WITH a rose on it." Golly, and I use to like dessert.
Not being one who focuses on vengeance, I simply kicked started the karma flow and opened my own cell phone and hit a few buttons as if dialing a number. Waiting a few seconds I then spoke into it and said, loudly enough for the Malibu Barbies in front of me to hear. "Hi honey, are the kids home? Good, then tell Billy I'll loan him that $200 for that girl's ankle bracelet but ONLY if he promises to go to the clinic to get a shot for the constant drip problem."