Read Between the Lines

Former Illionois Governor, Rod Blagojevich has signed a six-figure deal with Phoenix books for a work that promises to expose "the dark side of politics." When released, the book will cost $24.95 but those who purchase it will also have send Blagojevich a payment of $100 a year for the rest of his life. *** 3 New Jersey children, ages 1 - 3, were taken into custody after concern for their welfare came to light at a supermarket. The markets bakery refused a cake order request which was to feature the oldest child's name, which is - Adolf Hitler Campbell. The younger siblings are named Joycelynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honzlynn Hinler Jeannie. The children's grandfather, Jeffrey Dahlmer Idi Amin, could not be reached for comment. *** A catalog from the Great Courses Teaching Company, which sells discs of courses to listen to in your car, arrived today. Inside was a sample CD of a course titled "Einstein's Relativity and the Quantum Revolution." If this company was so smart, they'd included a complimentary bottle of Mountain Dew to help the driver stay awake while listening to the CD. *** Bad business franchise idea of the month - Tapioca Express. Now explain how one eats old fashioned runny tapioca when on the go? I bet this concept comes from the people who created Frozen Taffy, Soup on a Stick and Pickled Catfish Burgers. *** A father in the California coastal town of Greenfield, has been arrested for arranging for his 14-year-old daughter to marry an 18-year-old neighbor in exchange for $16,000, 100 cases of beers and several cases of meat. The incident came to light when the father, 36 year-old Marcelino de Jesus Martinez went to the police seeking help in reclaiming his daughter because he had not been paid. Martinez was unaware, that since leaving his home country, the price of a 14 year-old girl had gone up by 75 cases of beer and a box of pork rinds. ***