Ah, The Joys of Education

As most people know, one of my jobs is teaching traffic school on weekends. Some may consider it more of a sentencing or punishment but that's what my ankle bracelet is for. No, it's not a court monitoring system, I bought it on QVC from the Martha Stewart jewelry line. Just don't tell Joan Rivers that she lost a customer. I've been teaching for the same company, Improv Comedy Traffic School, despite plummeting business and attendance, for going on 9 years and still enjoy it. At our jobs, we rarely get paid what we're worth and receive less appreciation and compliments than we deserve. Yet I find great reward at the end of an 8 hour class, having exhausted myself speaking about traffic laws and defensive driving maneuvers, when 12 - 15 people out of 20 give me a round of applause. Is it because they're thrilled that it's over, sure, but remember these people came in with resentment for having received a traffic ticket, don't want to be there for 8 hours and have a chip on the shoulder that screams "OK you SOB, make me laugh!" But in addition to great response and the applause, the icing on the cake comes from those who come up and shake my hand or refer friends and family members to my future classes.
I've encountered a number of adult students who have sent their teenage child, who have yet to get their driver's license, to my class with hope of their becoming a better than average teen driver. Tooting my own horn, yeah, but it is such a thrill to know that you are making a difference in the world. Plus there is the purely selfish joy of telling them to turn their stereos down when they drive past my house. It's not unusual to find a parent and son/daughter in my class. As was the case yesterday when I learned of how the son got his first ticket (illegal U-Turn) barely 5 months after getting his license and then the mother got her ticket for SPEEDING (15 over) two weeks after the son got his violation. And that was the day her son invented the neener neener parents aren't perfect dance. Which is not to be confused with the - Neener Neener Told You So dance performed by most parents.
Of course there are always the one or two students that can not reached without the aid of forceps and a lobotomy procedure app downloaded to my I-phone. There is usually one who wants to argue with every point you make. "But that's not fair!" "That's an invasion of privacy" or "They can't do that without cause." How about just not breaking the law and you won't have to be inconvenienced by law enforcement??? I've encountered at least one from every species imaginable of the excuse givers. The denial-aphiles with excuse like"you can't ticket me for going the wrong way down a one way street because I was only going one way." "I was just going the flow of traffic" even though the traffic is "flowing" at 80mph and breaking the speed limit. Or one of my favorites from a guy who went through a flashing red light without stopping - "I went through when it was off!"
Yet there are always those who will not learn, as was blatantly exemplified to me at yesterdays class. Five minutes after I dismissed the group for lunch, I finished gathering up my supplies and headed out of the hotel and into the parking lot. Approaching my car I was puzzled to see a white mazda double parked behind a silver excursion. As I got closer I noticed that the passenger side of the Mazda was smashed in from the SUV having backed into it and each driver was standing next to their vehicle on their cell phones. My next thought was, "too bad these people weren't benefiting from being in my class," but on closer examination I realized - the WERE my students. Believe it or not, I was a good boy and did not cave into temptation by uttering the words "Somebody wasn't paying attention in class." With that said I'd like to go on the record my saying, the fact that two of my students had a car accident when the class was only half over should in no way reflect negatively upon my teaching skills.