Meeting Edward

April 11th, 2009
was the 2nd anniversary of the death of my beloved Edward. The man who was my world for 22 years. In his honor, this is the story of how we met.


On Saturday, December 15th, 1984, a knight in shining armor entered a San Francisco shop called 'Headlines.' A shop employee, named Nathaniel, spotted the dashing Edward as he strolled through the gift ware department. Insisting his co-worker take her lunch first, Nathaniel secured the opportunity to meet and greet this man who would change his life. While providing the best possible customer service, Nathaniel learned that intelligence, heart and soul, were aligned in this 6'4" man with silver screen looks. And then fate allowed him to wonder, could this page from a fairytale be attracted to a simple 26 year old store clerk? The answer was found. Common interests were discovered, sense of humors were aligned and a sparkle in the eyes echoed between them. Though the minutes they shared seemed like hours, Edward chose his purchase. Another sign, it was Nathaniel's favorite piece of sculpture in the store. The image of a face gently kissing the hand of another. A classic, universal image without reference to gender and a reminder of ... possibilities.
The seconds passed fleetingly and the dreaded goodbye was at hand. Which fork in the river would this swan take? Would the two meet again? Nathaniel had been working on an upcoming art show for a friend, and urged Edward to attend and wrote the time, date and location on the back of his sales receipt. After an affirmed yes for attendance, the awkward adieu sent Edward out the store to catch his bus down Van Ness avenue. Loosing sight of him as he rounded the corner, Nathaniel rushed back into the store to locate Edward's full name and phone number off the charge draft.
The days passed and not nearly fast enough. On December 18Th, a large number of guests arrived at Atlas Savings and Loan building (the first Gay Bank in San Francisco) on the corner of Market and Duboce. Flowing past celebrity portraits, cocktails and refreshments, Nathaniel acted as host, introducing those previously unfamiliar with other guests, pairing off those with similar interest, all the while, scanning the crowd for the arrival of the one most eagerly awaited. The moment came and there was Edward focusing his emerald green eyes on a stunning portrait of Natalie Wood. But the duties of host restricted Nathaniel's movement as he had just introduced a local news photographer to a San Francisco supervisor. It took some time to identify their common interest and then he excused himself to seek his quest. Yet, the object he sought was gone. Searches of the upstairs balcony, rear hallways and side parking lot proved futile. The swan had flown and taken Nathaniel's heart with him.
Days and weeks passed. Nathaniel could not understand how the door of fate had closed so suddenly. The new year of 1985 arrived. Not one to make resolutions, Nathaniel vowed to find the missing prince who had fled the ball and failed to leave so much as a shoe behind. Searching through the phone book and numerous contacts to 411 information line, a number was located and a nervous hand dialed. What would he say, how would he answer? Would there be a dial tone after he did? Alas, no answer and the fears vanished. For the moment. Nathaniel grieved at having come so close to the soul mate of which we all aspire but to witness the potential vanish before him. On Wednesday, January 30th, Nathaniel made one last valiant attempt to reconnect with Edward. Why this date, why this time of day, why even bother again? There were no other answer save for a voice inside which whispered, "Do not give up!"
This time the ringing of the phone ended with a voice saying "Hello?" After bumbling an introduction and reminder of our first meeting, Edward warmed to the caller. Maybe it was the flattery of someone so persistent in tracking him down or perhaps it was the memory of Nathaniel's longing brown eyes. A date was made for the next evening, Thursday, January 31st. Edward was to meet Nathaniel at the street level entrance to the Castro/Market subway system. From there the two would head downtown and take a cable car up Powell Street to attend a play which Nathaniel was to review for a local paper. Nathaniel arrived at the designated meeting site, in time to witness the blankets of fog flow over twin peaks and down into the Eureka Valley. Nathaniel checked his watch and saw it was 7:10pm yet Edward was nowhere to be found. Waiting a few more minutes, he went to a pay phone and called Edward's number but no response. But why only a phone call? Well, it was 1985 and texting had yet to be invented. At 7:30pm Nathaniel debated as to whether to attend the production alone or return home to lick his emotional wounds. Close again and yet so very far. Remembering his obligation to review the play, he ran down the escalator to board the Muni Train which had just pulled up to the platform. Having virtually lept through the doors as they swiftly closed behind him, He glanced down the length of the train aisle only to gaze upon the face of Edward. Then they shared the curve of a smile as they silently observed the fateful coincidence. After sincerest apologies, Edward explained his delay and added that he was going to the theatre where he hoped to find Nathaniel. Nathaniel explained that only moments earlier, he was close to heading home and missing the play. The consequences would certainly have prevented the two from meeting again.
They evening went well, despite Edward's frequent trips to the men's room. It was eventually discovered the the fear of a bladder infection was actually Edward fear and disgust of blood. The play was Dracula and every moment of stage strewn plasma sent his stomach into upheaval and a run for the restroom for cold paper towel compress. The two and a half hours as audience members provided little time to talk and become better acquainted, yet the time after the show did. Upon the evening's conclusion, fear removed their abilities to say "goodbye" and Edward found the courage to say "Until tomorrow." Nathaniel remembers the sudden realization that this was a union meant to be. Edward realized his life was about to change. Over the following weeks, the two went out on dates almost every night. They presented quite the dashing couple at cabaret shows, films screenings, fundraisers and theatre performances all over the city by the bay. They persevered, overcame obstacles, grew closer as the years advanced and showed the world that fairy tales do come true.
In later years, Edward's health faded. They didn't live in a castle, were no longer seen at court functions and found the dragons a bit harder to slay. Yet, these two princes held such love for each other that poetry wallowed, roses faded and legends paled in comparison.
In 2007, five Weeks after Edward died Nathaniel wrote the following in his diary -
"It's going on five weeks and while voices of support have have used the cliche phrase of "it'll get better" I can only confirm that "it gets different. Today I only cried six times yet I find that the tears seem to come at the most unexpected moments. The first few weeks of sorting through his things, our things and surprising discoveries, there were the anticipated times of emotional overwhelm. Just when you think you are bit closer to the assemblage of a normal life, crashing down falls the glacier of protection you built around your heart. One morning I sat in Edward's closet, sorting through clothing, smelling his cologne on a shirt and savoring the aroma of his shampoo on a sweater. At the bottom of the closet I found a plastic container full of his expensive sweaters, many still holding tags marked Barney's, Bergdorfs, etc. On the bottom was an out-of-theme pair of faded blue jeans. Perplexed, I carefully lifted out of the container and noticed a piece of paper peaking out of the back pocket. As I unfolded it and read the handwritten words, the foundation of a healing heart was torn asunder once more. Upon the note were these words "The jeans I wore on my first date with Nathaniel - January 31st, 1986." Fortunately, there was a handkerchief in the other pocket.