LA Pride Celebration 2009

Although California Courts won't allow the union of same sex couples, gays and lesbians proved their dedication to and worthiness of equal rights at the 2009 Christopher West/LA Pride Celebration. As tradition at many other Pride celebrations, Dykes on Bikes roared down Santa Monica to kick off the parade without a sissy bar in sight. Banners, flags, and signs echoed the need to repeal proposition 8 throughout the procession in almost equal number to those that introduced convertible driven politicians and honorees. The list of such VIPs included Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom (called "Governor Newsom" by a review stand narrator,) Noah's Arc star Doug Spearman ridding with an gorgeous but unidentified man, and Parade Grand Marshal Chelsea Handler who looked lovely in a white sleeveless summer dress but puzzled some with her over sized pink scarf wrapped over her head and around her neck as if she was at a Muslim pride parade. Joining Handler on the float were her talk show sidekick Chuy Bravo and Ross the intern of the Tonight show fame.
Never one to take a backseat that is exactly where celebr-attorney Gloria Alred sat while being chauffeured down the parade route. Contrary to her name, Alred wore all Red with white trim. I know, a scary thought. Can you image waking up in the hospital only to see Gloria next to a crash cart dressed as candy striper. Don't worry, you're safe if your room doesn't have paparazzi. As an energetic Renaissance Faire troupe shared their revelry with the crowds, I eagerly awaited the appearance of a similar but all female version from the E-LEZ-abethan Faire, but alas, for such fortune was anon. Other groups represented included police, sheriffs and cowboys brought a reminder of The Village People. Yet our GLBT village demonstrated it's open heart with a substantial showing of marching church groups. A surprise to me despite the influence of many church organizations helping to pass California's legal to discriminate proposition. Fortunately the shadow of their evil influence was kept sequestered to one small area on a side street. Which reminds me, can't we outlaw the sale of bull horns to the intelligently challenged?
The Barnicle Busters diving group displayed some members wearing long colorful clustered balloons that made them look like spongebob squarepants' "Questioning Sea Urchin" friend. The Gay stereotype was enforced with numerous marchers walking their tiny leashed foo foo dogs, Chihuahuas, yorkies, long hair dachshunds. And not a one in cat drag. Among the more impressive floats was a pirate ship complete with crew that had more muscles that their vessel had barnacles. It was no surprise that newly reopened Mickey's featured the hottest dancers on their float. Which wasn't really a float as an actual fire truck equipped with long and powerful hoses. But enough about the dancers. The Manhunt float also featured some pretty male flesh yet I did a double take at how, youthful they appeared. I don't want to say that they were underage by I thought I heard them introduced as the Fisher Price dancers and could swear that the underwear label on one gyrating stud-cookie read "My First Jock Strap."
Some reports say that 400,000 attended the parade and festival but whatever the number, it never fails to enthrall when you see so many proud people gather under one sky. A sky that was overcast for most of Saturday, but cleared up on Sunday where sun rays greeted a much larger crowd. Across the weekend celebration, the sites that stood out for me was the annual appearance of the very tall, plus-sized cross dresser riding a bike, barely covered in underwear, bra and teddy. If you missed it, count your blessings. I love to people watch with friends and as we observed the approach of half dozen teens we immediately caught site of their alpha male with the over-the top hand gestures and loudest/highest voice in the group. When we spotted the pink back pack straps draped over his shoulders I demanded to my group "$5 says it's Hello Kitty." "$10 says it's My Pretty Pony" replied a friend while another concluded "$20 says it's Barbie." Nobody won the kitty, hello or otherwise. As the boy turned around we were all exposed to a colorful piece of shoulder luggage which featured the cartoon images and name of .... Disney's Aladdin. See, never judge a book or the back pack that holds it, by it's cover.
While the San Francisco Pride Celebration has hosted carnival rides, the LA Pride festival featured rides of a different kind. More specifically, in the form of Erotic City. A sequestered area for adults only featuring exhibitors from the adult film and product industry. I'm still trying to find it within my heart to forgive their door/gate man for not asking to see my I.D. I even had it out and ready WITH my AARP card. Though two of the biggest names in the Gay porn industry, Raging Stallion and Falcon were not represented, there were quite a few other companies displaying their flesh-wares, including one very popular Johnny Hazzard. At the end of an alley we found a booth surrounded by a gawking crowd. Standing 6' 2" I easily peered over the wall of bodies, only to observe an imposing woman in a cowboy hat, cracking her bullwhip over the back flesh of an underwear clad youth with the face of an angel. And I don't mean hells angel, I mean a Raphael painting brought to life. If any of the vendors had filmed this moment they would have made a tidy whitties profit.
Across the grassy knoll of Erotic City was a booth where fair goes could suit up as Sumo wrestlers and try to throttle their opponent to the floor. Many observers enjoyed the moment when it took three of the booth's staff to pull the immense bulbous costume, complete with g-string diaper and plastic hair helmets, over the bumpy body of a muscle bound leather daddy. And again, as luck would have it, nobody got that on film. The celebration grounds, between Santa Monica and Melrose featured three separate dance areas plus the main stage for entertainment. Mid-day emcees, Ben Patrick Johnson and Marcellas Reynolds were far more entertaining than the questionable selection of Mama and Billy Masters as evening stage hosts. Among the better known main stage talent were American Idol vets Fantasia and Blake Lewis, Expose, Billy Porter and on closing night, audience favorite Terri Nunn and Berlin. Though the program listed a "Surprise Closing Performance," the rumors of this year's American Idol runner-up, Adam Lambert, making an appearance proved to be false while the audience was disappointed with nothing more than an encore performance of Nunn with a backup choir. And for those not of age to remember Berlin from the 80s, let it be known that Terri Nunn was NEVER part of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. All in all, it was another fabulously successful event. Once the 400,000 have cleaned up their dance shoes, searched facebook for those they met and taken a bit of a rest, we'll be shopping for outfits for next year's edition.