I Now Pronounce You . . .

Hollywood and Entertainment news sources were reeling at the recent news that Heidi Montag twittered the world to announce her marriage to Spencer Pratt. I'd like to take this opportunity to say to the happy couple - WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE??? *** Autopsy results for the late porn star Marilyn Chambers, were released today. The coroners findings showed that erotic actress died of Tart - I mean, Heart Disease. *** A National study on 600 children with ADHD, followed from kindergarten through fifth grade has shown that those who were on medication for their disorder, scored higher on academic tests than those not on medication. However, the conclusion also confirmed that they tested higher than if they weren't allowed coffee or caffeinated drinks prior to taking the tests. Ah, yes. Your government dollars at work. ***